24 Aug 2012

Spider Wars!

I hate spiders.

Now many of you may agree with this statement but I don't hate them because I have a phobia. In fact, they don't bother me at all. I've had two grown men run out of a room because of a spider that I was left to deal with.

The problem is catching them.

With 8 hairy, long legs, they have the ability to run fast and reach places you could never imagine reaching. Most of the time if I spot a spider lurking on my wall before bedtime, I will leave it. Yeah, it could crawl in my mouth whilst I sleep and end up swimming in my stomach acid but hey, at least I wont have to battle it AND it gets the pretty grim death it deserves for trespassing in this temple. This one, however, was a little bit too big to ignore and it was above my bed, a little too close for comfort. The issue here though was reaching it. Sat high on the wall, it was sneering at me, expecting me to do the usual and leave it alone.

Not today spidey.

As I couldn't reach it, even with climbing on something, my first though was spray. Oust is normally a spray that is used to get rid of odours. Well, a spider is close enough right..

This induced a twitch or two from spidey but he just sat there, laughing at my failed attempts to oust him from his throne high above me. It also proved to be a stupid idea for I soon found myself in a cloud of, "Clean Scent" and had to remove myself from the situation momentarily.

I stood there, my hands gently on my hips, scanning the room for ideas on what to do next....

Yep, I threw money at it. Like the whore it is, it loved it.

My frustration now apparent, I began throwing various pennies at the beast. Being that everyone was in bed, the sound of the coins clinking against the wall (and not the spider) was quite loud so after throwing a reasonable amount, I gave up.

I'm a girl who likes to get things done quickly so I was not impressed with this situation. Pennies all over the floor, a pungent scent in the air and all I wanted to do was get in BED.


Yes, the pennies began flying again, the Oust came out for a second try and this time was the addition of several bobby pins that had caught my eye. I looked like a mad woman..


Finally he began to admit defeat and crawled his way slowly down the wall, limping as he goes. I readied the glass and BAM.

Game over baby.

Well, it was game over once I had successfully washed it down the plug hole. I'm normally nice and throw them gently out of the window but this guy pissed me off. He was gonna drown and go down the plug hole to send a message to the stupid ones that think the bath is gonna be their way in.

"Hey. If you're looking for trouble, you've come to the right place buddy."


  1. I am not "skeered" of spiders but I do not tolerate them milling about my abode. Typically, like your enemy, they hang out high and dry. I usually make a game of it and also throw things. Normally, I opt for a flip flop. My fiance hates that, because sometimes they squish on the wall, and at others they get knocked off by the sheer speed and relative accuracy of my once Little League arm. All said, it beats a broom because then I have to get out of bed.

    1. I hate squashing bugs on the wall. I did that once and the imprint remained on the ceiling for ages!!

  2. Love your posts!

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  3. LOL This is so funny! XD

    I am scared of them but not as scared as I am with cockroaches, there is just something about them that makes me squirm.

    1. I hate moths the most. As soon as I posted, a huge moth came into my room and I was gone. Can't even be in the same room as them!

    2. Oh yes the moths!We rarely have moths coming into our house but when they do then the only person who could get rid of them would be my mom....she would be like,"aww the poor lost lil moth, I will save you" XD Strange she does it only for moths....everything else is pretty much under the category of squish mode!

  4. Haha, excellent post! It isn't often I find spiders before the cats have in our household, in which case they are doomed anyway. As a result, when I do find one I feel obliged to take pity on it and escort it to the nearest exit... although it is fun watching the cats "play" with them...! By the way, thanks for the kind words about my blog ( It means a lot coming from a fellow cat owner/slave :)

    1. My cats are the resident spider/moth eaters. If they are in the room, I give them a nudge in the direction of the pests and then it's their game to play!

  5. I too had a problem with a spider this morning. I broke my blind while trying to yank it up fast enough to get to the spider, and then mashed it to death with a brass bunny.

    I love how you use pictures to illustrate, as I do the same! I find your writing addictive, and will be following via google connect.

    Please check mine out if you will. I'm in college as well, and enjoy writing of everyday life.

  6. We have had some big spiders in our house of late - they don't tend to come in my room because my window ledge and door are patrolled by horse chestnut (for some reason spiders don't like it).

    I have had a problem though recently with mosquitoey type things that like to buzz in my ear just as I'm falling asleep - they get things thrown at them until they land somewhere that I can splat them. That's what happens when you disturb my sleep - I hit you with something!

    Stopping by on the Post A To Z Road Trip :)