Spider Wars!

I hate spiders.

Now many of you may agree with this statement but I don't hate them because I have a phobia. In fact, they don't bother me at all. I've had two grown men run out of a room because of a spider that I was left to deal with.

The problem is catching them.

With 8 hairy, long legs, they have the ability to run fast and reach places you could never imagine reaching. Most of the time if I spot a spider lurking on my wall before bedtime, I will leave it. Yeah, it could crawl in my mouth whilst I sleep and end up swimming in my stomach acid but hey, at least I wont have to battle it AND it gets the pretty grim death it deserves for trespassing in this temple. This one, however, was a little bit too big to ignore and it was above my bed, a little too close for comfort. The issue here though was reaching it. Sat high on the wall, it was sneering at me, expecting me to do the usual and leave it alone.

Not today spidey.





As I couldn't reach it, even with climbing on something, my first though was spray. Oust is normally a spray that is used to get rid of odours. Well, a spider is close enough right..

This induced a twitch or two from spidey but he just sat there, laughing at my failed attempts to oust him from his throne high above me. It also proved to be a stupid idea for I soon found myself in a cloud of, "Clean Scent" and had to remove myself from the situation momentarily.

I stood there, my hands gently on my hips, scanning the room for ideas on what to do next....

Yep, I threw money at it. Like the whore it is, it loved it.

My frustration now apparent, I began throwing various pennies at the beast. Being that everyone was in bed, the sound of the coins clinking against the wall (and not the spider) was quite loud so after throwing a reasonable amount, I gave up.

I'm a girl who likes to get things done quickly so I was not impressed with this situation. Pennies all over the floor, a pungent scent in the air and all I wanted to do was get in BED.

THROW ALL THE THINGS!

Yes, the pennies began flying again, the Oust came out for a second try and this time was the addition of several bobby pins that had caught my eye. I looked like a mad woman..

.. BUT IT WORKED.

Finally he began to admit defeat and crawled his way slowly down the wall, limping as he goes. I readied the glass and BAM.

Game over baby.

Well, it was game over once I had successfully washed it down the plug hole. I'm normally nice and throw them gently out of the window but this guy pissed me off. He was gonna drown and go down the plug hole to send a message to the stupid ones that think the bath is gonna be their way in.

"Hey. If you're looking for trouble, you've come to the right place buddy."